People Who Inspire Me

It has been another very long and very hot summer. We have had major foods, major heat, hurricanes and earthquakes. As I reflect back on summer,  the intentions that I had for it and the actual end result, it kind of depresses me and makes me wonder where I go wrong and what happens that makes it end up nowhere near what I wanted it to be. It must be something in me that is just disfunctional and keeps me from getting things done that I intend to actually do and never do.

Summer needs to be spent getting ready for fall and winter shows, painting, cutting wood and dreaming up ideas. It never goes that way. It gets spent with kids, flowers, mowing, sweating and then football, depending on my babysitting schedule. We won't mention the hours spent making breakfast, lunch and dinner and the constant cleaning. Sometimes I get a yard sale in there. Not that any of these are bad, but I can't afford to take the summer off from painting, I want it to be my full time job. I want to figure out how to do that before I die, there are too many nay sayers that think I can't do it, but I think I can, I just need a little more than an hour or 2 a day to paint.
 

That brings me to my point of writing this. There are some ingenious, organized craft people out there that I truly admire for accomplishing the things that I dream of, they are my inspiration. Though this is by far not a complete list of them all, this is just the tip of a huge amount of wonderful talented people that I have had the privilege to meet and follow over the years. If you have a minute, visit them, you won't be disappointed. When I grow up, I want to be just like them!

Lynn from Painting Thyme Needfuls delightful creations. You can find her on Facebook as well at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Painting-Thyme-Needfuls.

Then we have Elfie from paintingfromtheheart, Such a wonderful, sweet and very talented lady who finds the time to paint the most delightful treasures. You can also find her at Etsy..

These are people that love the work they do and they do it well, there are so many others that have the honor of loving their work, making it work for them and creating some beautiful treasures along the way. Someday maybe I can join those ranks too. But for now, some more painting to be done, a child to check on and some new fall shows to keep me company.

How many of you have someone that inspires you to keep striving for something you want? Share with us!! 

Life gets in the way

Ok, it's been awhile I know. I never meant it to be this way. It has been a long, very hot and very stressful summer for me. I will be honest and tell you that anxiety and depression and children have ruled my summer, there weren't many traces of "me" actually around. 

I wanted to share what has happened to those of you who wondered where I went. Maybe it will help someone else deal with some fear they may be having too. 

5 years ago I had breast pain, I went and got that checked, they found a lump and a cyst, a very small lump. They wanted a needle biopsy, well no, I can't do needles and that is true, I asked to be knocked out, nope, they wouldn't do it. I didn't go back. Before we went on vacation, I found a few more lumps, was having severe pain and my right breast had actually grown. I don't think that 51 yr old women grow a larger breast, it's a little late for that, and especially just one.We went despite my fear, I tried to have fun, as best as I could with the anxiety that was building inside of me. We came home, the pain subsided a bit, until 2 weeks before the next monthly, this time it came back in both of them, so I forced myself to my doctor for some anxiety meds, scheduled an appointment at the breast clinic and went. Fortunately a good friend went with me through all of this and let me cry whenever I needed to. I don't need to tell you that the little lump had grown to about 4 cm. and I was full of cysts. They really didn't think it was anything bad, they figured it was a fiberadnoma, nothing real serious, but it needed removed.Shall I say that fear overtook me that day late in July. That was it, there was no more me, anxiety, fear, depression, that's what the summer was for me. I couldn't touch my chest for pain, work was hard, couldn't find a bra that would cause no pain, life sucked at that time. I functioned at the necessary stuff, but I couldn't think, I tried to paint and it wouldn't happen. I just kept looking at my grandson and crying, thinking that I had just been handed a death sentence. I prayed hard, talked to God at odd times of the day, tried to cope. Surgery for me was scary, it was needles and pain and fear of what might really be there.

The day came, drugs are good, I was relaxed, the IV went well, I slept and was given more drugs. Diana was with me as was my middle daughter Tina and I guess I was amusing. Then I woke up and came home and was amazed at the lack of pain, no pain meds needed, went back to work and was pretty positive waiting for the biopsy. Then the call came. It was a Phyllodes tumor, a very rare and fast growing type of cancer, and it had grown, to 5 1/2 cm in a month. No cure, no radiation, chemo, hormone therapy, talk about a slap in the face! More surgery to remove the tissue around it to make sure it was clear. A partial mastectomy. 2 weeks and they were doing more. More fear, more anxiety, no sleep. Monday came and the surgery was done. This time more pain, less positive, no sleep, scared out of my mind. But between all my FB family, my family and friends and God above, I made it through the week, and Friday came and a phone call came, I held my breath, when she said "I wanted to call you and let you know that the biopsy was clear so that you could enjoy your weekend", the tears came and I looked up and thanked God. It's not over though, I have to be watched, some can regrow, but I am going to try and have the faith that God won't let that happen. I survived that thing for 5 years, that was a miracle in itself. So please to all, don't let anything go, if there is fear, ask your doctor to help you, there are good anti anxiety meds, and talk to people. We don't have to die, just don't be like me and wait 5 years, that was a miracle and God had to have made that happen.